the chaff and the wheat
Out of all of the things that I miss about the school year, I'd have to say that the biggest one would be, growing. Right now, most of the people that I'm closest to either aren't in Newberg, or they are, and for whatever reason we can't seem to connect and spend time together (with 1 or 2 exceptions). People who never went to college or lived off-campus the entire time always say that they wished that they could have experienced the community of living in a dorm and spending all day, every day with people that they are just starting to develop relationships with. Now going on my 3rd year at Fox, I seemed to have reached a plateau with 90% my friends here; we seem to have grown as close as we are going to, and I don't like that.
There are some people (like my best friend) with whom I am extremely close, and yet we become better and better friends every time we talk; then there are those with whom I am as close as I'm going to get, whether I like it or not. There are those that have put up walls, and no matter how hard I try, they won't let me through...No matter how many smiles or serious compliments of character I give, no matter how many times I try and act on the friendship that they insist they want, all they do is give a cutting, "joking" pot-shot or an "I'll talk to you later" that shuts me down and hurts to the point where I just want to give up being the one to hold our friendship above water. I look forward to the incoming freshman classes just so that I can meet new people and start new relationships, because so many of the ones I have now are on a downward slope. It's not that I'm bored with the friends that I have (trust me. they're mostly theatre people. being bored is impossible)...It's just that I want that experience of learning about others and of discovering (or re-discovering) friendships. I like the process of getting to know people, and that one rare moment that occurs when you realize that you've made a friend for life.
There are 2 people right now (both are guys) with whom I am growing. I have histories with both (one romantic, one a deep and tell-all friendship) that only seem to be helping us to become closer and more connected. I love both of them deperately, and some of the happiest moments of my weeks are when I know that I will get to see them. One will soon be leaving for the rest of the summer (ugh!), and one just arrived and will be sticking around for an indefinite period of time (yay!). It's those few people that you meet that you know will make your life worth living, that make me happy to be alive. To all of those, thank you. To everyone else, I hate being strung along, so if you're not sincere about being my friend, just let me know...I refuse to be the one holding open a door that the person on the other side wants closed.
This has been a reminder from your friendly neighborhood theatre major.
There are some people (like my best friend) with whom I am extremely close, and yet we become better and better friends every time we talk; then there are those with whom I am as close as I'm going to get, whether I like it or not. There are those that have put up walls, and no matter how hard I try, they won't let me through...No matter how many smiles or serious compliments of character I give, no matter how many times I try and act on the friendship that they insist they want, all they do is give a cutting, "joking" pot-shot or an "I'll talk to you later" that shuts me down and hurts to the point where I just want to give up being the one to hold our friendship above water. I look forward to the incoming freshman classes just so that I can meet new people and start new relationships, because so many of the ones I have now are on a downward slope. It's not that I'm bored with the friends that I have (trust me. they're mostly theatre people. being bored is impossible)...It's just that I want that experience of learning about others and of discovering (or re-discovering) friendships. I like the process of getting to know people, and that one rare moment that occurs when you realize that you've made a friend for life.
There are 2 people right now (both are guys) with whom I am growing. I have histories with both (one romantic, one a deep and tell-all friendship) that only seem to be helping us to become closer and more connected. I love both of them deperately, and some of the happiest moments of my weeks are when I know that I will get to see them. One will soon be leaving for the rest of the summer (ugh!), and one just arrived and will be sticking around for an indefinite period of time (yay!). It's those few people that you meet that you know will make your life worth living, that make me happy to be alive. To all of those, thank you. To everyone else, I hate being strung along, so if you're not sincere about being my friend, just let me know...I refuse to be the one holding open a door that the person on the other side wants closed.
This has been a reminder from your friendly neighborhood theatre major.
posted by Temair at 10:41 PM
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