unsettling uncertainty
Tonight has been kinda bitter-sweet.
Tonight I realized that me not coming back next year is a distinct possibility and that made me cry, but tonight I also...
-talked to a newly good friend who made me realize that God is God and He knows more than me and will take care of me and who gave me a much needed (and unexpected) hug
-hung out in the lobby and had some quality time with my best friend just sitting and talking about nothing in particular while still having buckets o' fun, therefore reminding me why I love him more than life itself...and he promised to play catch with me (i'm excited)
- got the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me said to me by the least likely person I ever would have expected to say it, thereby reinforcing the fact that Kyle Didriksen is on my top 10 list of coolest people ever to set foot in my life
Yes...tonight was neat.
I also realized tonight, however, that I have to say my summer goodbyes as if they were my forever goodbyes since I won't know until the end of the summer if I can afford to return to Fox. So, this April will be filled with extra tears and sadness because I won't be able to know whether the hug I will have given Dylan on my way out the door will be the last I give him for God knows how long (literally). I don't want that to happen...I want to give him a Hello hug in September too, so I must live with my friends like this semester is my last...I don't want to say goodbye, but I must prepare myself and those around for the fact that I might not be returning in the fall. I can only pray and apply for scholarships like there's no tomorrow and leave the details in God's hands, which are far larger and more capable than my own.
Trust...I must trust...
Tonight I realized that me not coming back next year is a distinct possibility and that made me cry, but tonight I also...
-talked to a newly good friend who made me realize that God is God and He knows more than me and will take care of me and who gave me a much needed (and unexpected) hug
-hung out in the lobby and had some quality time with my best friend just sitting and talking about nothing in particular while still having buckets o' fun, therefore reminding me why I love him more than life itself...and he promised to play catch with me (i'm excited)
- got the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me said to me by the least likely person I ever would have expected to say it, thereby reinforcing the fact that Kyle Didriksen is on my top 10 list of coolest people ever to set foot in my life
Yes...tonight was neat.
I also realized tonight, however, that I have to say my summer goodbyes as if they were my forever goodbyes since I won't know until the end of the summer if I can afford to return to Fox. So, this April will be filled with extra tears and sadness because I won't be able to know whether the hug I will have given Dylan on my way out the door will be the last I give him for God knows how long (literally). I don't want that to happen...I want to give him a Hello hug in September too, so I must live with my friends like this semester is my last...I don't want to say goodbye, but I must prepare myself and those around for the fact that I might not be returning in the fall. I can only pray and apply for scholarships like there's no tomorrow and leave the details in God's hands, which are far larger and more capable than my own.
Trust...I must trust...
posted by Temair at 2:33 AM
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