brother in blood only
Two days being home and I can't wait to leave again.
I've never got along with my younger brother, Jerren, which my mom and I have fought about before. Now, she says that because I don't hug him, I obviously don't love him...I wonder if she's right...I mean, ever since he was old enough to reason and think, my brother has been manipulative and deceptive, acting one way around my mom and step-dad, and a completly different way around me, just to get me in as much trouble as possible. I wonder if this is why I can't stand him most of the time. And now he's entering puberty, so his hormones are flipping out and he's even more of a brat than usual. I don't think he loves me past the base love one blood relative has for another, and I sometimes wonder if I have the same kind of love. Of course, my mom refuses to hear that her "soft-hearted" little man is anything less that a sweet young boy just going through a hard time. This is, of course, what he wants...he has her wrapped around his finger and he knows it. I'm expected to put up with all of his crap because I'm older; instead of telling him to stop and correcting his behavior, I'm told to suck it up. I wish I didn't have to work this summer, or else I'd go back up to school and live there...or anywhere else for that matter. I come back home and my bed isn't even my bed anymore; it's my brother's. Everything is different and nothing belongs to me anymore...I'm just a visitor sleeping on the couch for the next four months, eating someone else's food, using someone else's electricity and water...I can't wait to move away again and for good, but I can't tell my mom that, cause she'd never understand. I was so looking forward to being home again, but all it's been is bad.
Oh well.
Work starts soon and I'll be gone all day and can just drive around or read in my room at night.
I miss you guys so much.
GOSH! I thought I'd be done with this crying thing already!
I've never got along with my younger brother, Jerren, which my mom and I have fought about before. Now, she says that because I don't hug him, I obviously don't love him...I wonder if she's right...I mean, ever since he was old enough to reason and think, my brother has been manipulative and deceptive, acting one way around my mom and step-dad, and a completly different way around me, just to get me in as much trouble as possible. I wonder if this is why I can't stand him most of the time. And now he's entering puberty, so his hormones are flipping out and he's even more of a brat than usual. I don't think he loves me past the base love one blood relative has for another, and I sometimes wonder if I have the same kind of love. Of course, my mom refuses to hear that her "soft-hearted" little man is anything less that a sweet young boy just going through a hard time. This is, of course, what he wants...he has her wrapped around his finger and he knows it. I'm expected to put up with all of his crap because I'm older; instead of telling him to stop and correcting his behavior, I'm told to suck it up. I wish I didn't have to work this summer, or else I'd go back up to school and live there...or anywhere else for that matter. I come back home and my bed isn't even my bed anymore; it's my brother's. Everything is different and nothing belongs to me anymore...I'm just a visitor sleeping on the couch for the next four months, eating someone else's food, using someone else's electricity and water...I can't wait to move away again and for good, but I can't tell my mom that, cause she'd never understand. I was so looking forward to being home again, but all it's been is bad.
Oh well.
Work starts soon and I'll be gone all day and can just drive around or read in my room at night.
I miss you guys so much.
GOSH! I thought I'd be done with this crying thing already!
posted by Temair at 9:13 PM
2 Comments:
For years my sister and I fought and I cant tell you how many times I wished that she would just go away and never come back. In the past few years as my folks have gotten older and had health problems I have come to count on here and she has matured a bit in almost 30 years. Give your brother a chance it might take a long time but you may like him when he is older. ;-)
Seriously, just walk up to your mom, and I mean like all up in her grill, and just sass her like, "I don't have to hug the little **** to tell him I love him. The fact that I don't cleave his little head with a toaster oven should be enough to let him know that I love him. Now get him out of my bed before I moltov coctail this abode, you dig, geezer?!" Then throw something fragile at a walll or something, at least color on the walls with crayons, and storm out of the room, leaving her to pick up her shattered persona.
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