F*******************CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got an email from my dad today. I had asked him if he would consider co-signing for the loan that I need to take out in order to finish school, and his response was disquieting to say the least. He told me that he would be willing to co-sign, but only after I had thoroughly considered whether or not the path I was taking academically was the one that would be best for my future. He spouted the usual "I'm proud of you, but..." speech, which was not exactly what I wanted to hear. My dad's email is the latest in a series of events that have caused me to seriously doubt what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. Last Wednesday I cried more than I have cried in a very long time, and it was all because of the self-doubt that I've been feeling. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING GOD?! Am I supposed to keep doing what I love, even though there is no guarantee that it will provide a stable future, or should I abandon it for something else (which, by the way, I have NO IDEA what would be)? I am the first person in my family to attend a 4 year institution; my mom didn't even graduate high school (she married my dad at 17 years old) and all of my cousins (including my 30 year old, married one) still live at home and work at low-paying, dredge jobs. I do NOT want to end up like them, but I also don't want to give up what I am best at and what I love the most. I have no idea what I am supposed to do...
posted by Temair at 4:51 PM
4 Comments:
Ok here is the deal I dont have a whole lot of money and I dont know if I can give you enough to make a dent in what you need but you need to talk to me about this and I wont talk about money or any other help I might be able to give via blog comments. I would like you to send me an e-mail address so I can get you a phone # and we can talk.
Follw your heart it is the only way that you will ever be proud of your self and get the respect you want from your family. It may take longer to get it but when you follow your heart the respect comes from your determination and work. thru these things you grow into the person you were ment to be.
my prayers and a dad's kind of love are with you.
jeremy
i want to say something deep, meaningful, and helpful on here...but nothing comes to mind. just know that if you aren't here next year, i truly will miss you, though we shared little time together, and if you are off doing other things, i trust you know what you are doing and are doing other great things.
best of luck, tara. i'll be praying.
Do what you love. If you do what you love for the rest of your life it will never be work.
Yes I'm coming to LA. We will be in California from the 12 to the 19th of August and we are going to Disneyland! I don't when we will be where, but we should definately arrange a meeting somewhere. How far are you from the city of Orange?
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