inside-outside-upside down
I'm in one of those wierd moods where I feel like I should be making better use of my time to explore my own humanity and grow as a person, but I have no idea how the hell to do it...
A lot of people are gone this weekend because Sunday is Father's Day.
Sunday is also my 20th birthday.
The day will be spent in my apartment with some of my good friends who are still around cause their parents are far away too...We will eat junk food and watch movies and just be. What's funny is that it isn't for my birthday. If you're reading this, you are one of the few people (literally, I could count on one hand) that I've told about it being my birthday. For some reason, I don't really want a bunch of people to know. I feel isolated being away from my mom and my house and my dad and my family, and I'd almost rather have people just not know instead of finding out and doing the whole "Oh my gosh! I didn't know! Happy birthday!" I wouldn't even let the girls I work with tell my boss, cause she's big into the whole cake and all-office-"Happy Birthday"-sing-along, and those things just make me want to sink into the carpet. I guess birthdays are one of the ways that I subtley test my friends and see how much they pay attention. Of course, thanks to facebook everyone and their mom will know now. There is one particular scenario that keeps popping up in my head however. I am sitting in my room and it's past 11PM on my birthday and I still haven't gotten The phone-call, and I finally resign myself to the knowledge that my best friend has forgotten about my birthday for the 2nd year in a row. Yeah, I haven't heard anything from him about hanging out or visiting or whatever. Whatever. I know that it's no measure of how much he cares or anything...It'd just be nice to feel like he actually wants to keep this thing alive.
Wow. I totally didn't mean to unload like that. See, this is what happens when all you do is work and watch movies and work out...Your brain starts to over-analyze life around you just to give itself something to do.
Tomorrow I go grocery shopping at WinCo with Suzie and then come home to Lexie who's coming down from Hillsboro to hang out (yes, for my birthday). It just feels pointless. There's nothing to anticipate or look forward to.
I need to get out of here. I need to go home. I need people and the city and smog and traffic and hectic-ness. Dah! I need LA.
Apparently I am a borderline schitzo. Goodness.
A lot of people are gone this weekend because Sunday is Father's Day.
Sunday is also my 20th birthday.
The day will be spent in my apartment with some of my good friends who are still around cause their parents are far away too...We will eat junk food and watch movies and just be. What's funny is that it isn't for my birthday. If you're reading this, you are one of the few people (literally, I could count on one hand) that I've told about it being my birthday. For some reason, I don't really want a bunch of people to know. I feel isolated being away from my mom and my house and my dad and my family, and I'd almost rather have people just not know instead of finding out and doing the whole "Oh my gosh! I didn't know! Happy birthday!" I wouldn't even let the girls I work with tell my boss, cause she's big into the whole cake and all-office-"Happy Birthday"-sing-along, and those things just make me want to sink into the carpet. I guess birthdays are one of the ways that I subtley test my friends and see how much they pay attention. Of course, thanks to facebook everyone and their mom will know now. There is one particular scenario that keeps popping up in my head however. I am sitting in my room and it's past 11PM on my birthday and I still haven't gotten The phone-call, and I finally resign myself to the knowledge that my best friend has forgotten about my birthday for the 2nd year in a row. Yeah, I haven't heard anything from him about hanging out or visiting or whatever. Whatever. I know that it's no measure of how much he cares or anything...It'd just be nice to feel like he actually wants to keep this thing alive.
Wow. I totally didn't mean to unload like that. See, this is what happens when all you do is work and watch movies and work out...Your brain starts to over-analyze life around you just to give itself something to do.
Tomorrow I go grocery shopping at WinCo with Suzie and then come home to Lexie who's coming down from Hillsboro to hang out (yes, for my birthday). It just feels pointless. There's nothing to anticipate or look forward to.
I need to get out of here. I need to go home. I need people and the city and smog and traffic and hectic-ness. Dah! I need LA.
Apparently I am a borderline schitzo. Goodness.
posted by Temair at 11:22 PM
3 Comments:
Haha... for a second, I thought you said you were a bored shitzo.
If your bored (or boared, or board) than give me a call. You have my number, dang it all. Being unbored is just seven digits, an area code, and a few seconds of dialoge away.
Peace.
Tara, you make me happy. When you attack anothers critique of your governments policies, you do so by telling the attackers that they generalize too much, thereby (for some reason unexplained) giving their arguments no basis at all. I was just tired and did not want to launch into the whole segment that I had. So do I generalize much? Maybe. Summarize? Yes. That doesn't detract from the fact that Republicans love murder, just so long as it's not on American soil :-)
Oh, Tara, of course I know.
I also know that this whole thing is rediculous, and we both know that I'm right and you're wrong, so we should just leave it at that.
And as for that comment, I only said it because the Republicans are having such a fun and successful time painting a supremely black and arrogant picture of everything American.
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