flatline

Friends, I seem to have hit a wall.

Life is progressing at a steady and uneventful enough pace to seem more like meandering rather than an actual movement forward. I go to classes I'm not very enthusiastic about (other than ceramics), rehearsals I don't particularly enjoy and am not really involved in, and spend my in-between time doing as little homework as possible to just get by and at least pass my senior year. I've hit a plateau. What's worse is that there are just enough little negative things to make my days more bad than good. I have a menial part in a show I don't like very much, and in which my fiance has to cuddle up with this gorgeous, tiny, Sarah Bernhard-meets-couture Audrey Hepburn, English rose type new comer (which of course makes watching rehearsals SO much more fun). My classes aren't bad per say, but I don't really feel like I have the time to get ahead; it seems like I'm always straining just to make deadline.

Anyway, compound this drudgery with the general feeling of ugly frumpiness that hits all females at some point, and can last for several days (or, in my case, weeks), and you've got yourself a great time. I need an excuse to get really dressed up and go somewhere fun and away from school and feel like I'm worth something again. Right now it just feels like I'm trudging along in some sort of atrophied of the soul. I'm not living...I'm just existing.