yeesh

What do you do when you realize that your entire life is going to change drastically within approximately 1 year? I mean, it's one thing to be surprised by stuff, but I've got time to prepare and think about all the upcoming events, and they're scaring me. I'm going to be getting engaged within the next few months, starting my senior year of college, trying to find a job for after I graduate, and looking for an apartment for after school ends because I'm getting MARRIED in about a year! All that combined with being evicted by my aunt and moving at the end of the summer, and trying to find about $13,000 for school for next year and my head is spinning. I think about everything a lot, and I'm scared to death/really excited. I won't be able to see Jordan again until mid-August, so there is a lot of separation anxiety right now, and I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something huge without any assurances of whether or not my life is going to turn out well. Thankfully I've got a wonderful man to support me and an omnitiant (sp?) and omnipotent God that I can trust in implicitly. Unfortunately, trust is the biggest issue that I've ever had in my entire life, so it's going to be a struggle. Bah.