Stalking

Jealousy is my least favorite feeling...

Sick to my stomach, the nausea grows with every laugh and smile and hug.
He's mine.
I know this.
I'm not afraid that he'll turn to her.

...But the territorial female in me riles up, even though I know that there is no real threat to us as an "us". I want to cling closer, kiss harder, glare more threateningly; I want to hiss "Back off!" at her, even though I know that she is not really advancing. It's hard to be attached to someone who is attractive to members of the opposite sex. You never know if they're being staked out.

Insecurities in myself don't help either; knowing in my heart that he'll never leave me, but finding my mind wandering to those places that leave me utterly broken...Compound those with the giggling and the inside jokes and the shared interests that I do not share with him. It's a torment that I create for myself.
Damn me.

coming up

4 more performances before I am officially finished with my last main stage show at Fox...

Sad day...

I have to admit though, the last few days with no performances and no rehearsals have been amazing. I love having the evenings with Jordan to do homework and just be with each other. I am VERY much looking forward to next semester. It will be wonderful to be able to do wedding stuff with Jordan and have time to get better grades and it will be really really nice and with much less stress.

Jordan's parents and his little sister are coming this weekend, as is Dylan. It's going to be busy busy, but fun. I'm looking forward to it :0)