Carey 101ed

So, I've officially been placed in a housing situation...Carey 101! Woot! I'm just glad I'm not all the way over in Timbuktu (i.e. U-Hall), and am still around everyone else from Penn who just transfered to the suites. I'm just glad that it's all resolved.

wa-BAM!

Hey guys. Alright, I'm officially excited about going back to school...Before, I don't think that it really hit me. But now, I flipping excited! Aaaahhh! I'm coming back to Fox!!! And I'm taking care of things for the whole year now, so there won't be any mid-year scares like there were last time (which is nice). It bums me out that there are a bunch of people not coming back though...Things are definitley not going to be the same without Beth, Maves, Eli, Dylan, Kathleen...It's gonna be wierd being seperate from everyone. But now that I think about it, PCWB will still basically be Pennington central...ANYway, I can't wait to see you guys next month and we'll have to catch up.

approved

The loan came through...I guess I'll be seeing you guys in a few weeks then, huh?

almost there...

Tuesday: the day of reckoning...the day where my future is decided...the day when I learn if my prayers have or have not been answered...the day when I learn whether or not I've been approved for my school loan.

And there's this chick from high school who's been bagging on me on our high school myspace group. I think she's the only person I've ever actually hated...ANYway, she's one of those really REALLY illogical and immature people (which is a disasterous combination by the way) who likes to name-call and pretend that she's the goddess of the world. In other words, i can't STAND her!!!! And now she's getting in my proverbial face and just being lame...sometimes I wish that I could reach through the computer screen and punch people....it sure would feel good to give her a broken nose...or face...

F*******************CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got an email from my dad today. I had asked him if he would consider co-signing for the loan that I need to take out in order to finish school, and his response was disquieting to say the least. He told me that he would be willing to co-sign, but only after I had thoroughly considered whether or not the path I was taking academically was the one that would be best for my future. He spouted the usual "I'm proud of you, but..." speech, which was not exactly what I wanted to hear. My dad's email is the latest in a series of events that have caused me to seriously doubt what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. Last Wednesday I cried more than I have cried in a very long time, and it was all because of the self-doubt that I've been feeling. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING GOD?! Am I supposed to keep doing what I love, even though there is no guarantee that it will provide a stable future, or should I abandon it for something else (which, by the way, I have NO IDEA what would be)? I am the first person in my family to attend a 4 year institution; my mom didn't even graduate high school (she married my dad at 17 years old) and all of my cousins (including my 30 year old, married one) still live at home and work at low-paying, dredge jobs. I do NOT want to end up like them, but I also don't want to give up what I am best at and what I love the most. I have no idea what I am supposed to do...

FINAL UPDATE (for now)

You know when you get to that point in your life where you start to wonder if the track you're on is really the one your supposed to be following? In case you haven't, it kinda sucks.

Oh, and by the way, as of now, I can't find the money for Fox. In other words, unless something dramatic happens in the next month or so, it looks like I'm staying here until further notice. Happy for Bethany! Sad beans for everyone else...me included.