"knock, knock"...'who's there'...no one

It's times like this that I wish I could take the people closest to me and go somewhere far away and live there with them forever, undisturbed by unwelcome hostilities and unwelcome people. Things crowd in so quickly and I'm losing sight of my ultimate goal and of those who are supporting me on my way there.
I love you and I miss you in more ways than one and so much it makes my heart physically hurt. Don't think I don't remember all you've done for me, because you will never really know how much you have.
In a crowded room/world I feel totally and utterly alone...I don't think I've ever really understood that until now. It's amazing the effect one person can have one your life.

blegh

How can a day be so amazing and yet so crappy at the same time? I think I just figured out the answer.

living up to my own expectations

So, we haven't even started the school year yet and already things are moving like nobody's buisness! I just got an email from the theatre director, Rhett, telling me that auditions for the fall show are on Wednesday...WEDNESDAY!!! That's, like, next WEEK! I just might pee my pants. All of the shows this year have huge female roles (two of them are starring), and I'm scared to death. Have you ever been put up against yourself and realized that you are being tested? Coming into this year, with 3 of the major players in the competition for female leads graduated, I'm going to be finding out alot about myself and my "abilities". I'm scared to be plopped in front of an impartial director whom I've never worked with before and with whom I have no repoir, cause he definitely won't beat around the bush with criticisms that I've never heard. I'm sitting here, memorizing my monologue and spazing...Last year, I didn't get the part I auditioned for twice, and I really really don't want to have to do that all over again. This is what I want to do with my life, and it's kinda unsettling when you're asked to prove yourself all over again.

AH!!! I'm burning! My pants are on fire!!!

Oh, and I lied.
I'm being moved to Carey 202 with some exciting new roomates. Actually, I'm not so sure about them...I hear one of them has this creepy boyfriend who takes pictures of himself in short shorts...I mean, what kind of person must SHE be? The second one is already ENGAGED! Geez...Talk about jumping the gun...And the third one is some short computer geek who's obsessed with coffee. I dunno if I'll be able to make it...

little things

My autistic little brother, Justin, said my name for the first time yesterday...AND he ran up to hug me last night before bed...I'm happy...

blah

I think I just took the longest shower in recorded history...It's true. I got back from camping for the past 4 days and spent forever trying to scrub, scour and sand-blast the dirt off of my feet and arms (without causing extreme pain due to the horrendous sunburn i aquired on my shoulders, legs and nose). I'm sooooo tired, but SOOOOOOO excited that we move back in on SATURDAY! AH! And I'll see some of you on Friday (depending on who happens to be on campus that night when i get into town).
Anyway, I hope everyone's packing experience went as smoothly as mine and I can't wait to see you all!

consequences

No good deed goes unpunished,

No act of charity goes unresented,

No good deed goes unpunished,

That's my new creed!

My road of good intentions

Led where such roads always lead

No good deed

Goes unpunished!

One question haunts and hurts

Too much, too much to mention:

Was I really seeking good

Or just seeking attention?

Is that all good deeds are

When looked at with an ice-cold eye?

If that's all good deeds are

Maybe that's the reason why...

No good deed goes unpunished

All helpful urges should be circumvented

No good deed goes unpunished

Sure, I meant well - Well, look at what well-meant did:

All right, enough - so be it

So be it, then:

...I promise no good deed

Will I attempt to do again

Ever again

No good deed

Will I do again!

movin' on up

By the time you guys have read this, I'll probably be at my dad's house in Sacramento. It's 6:45 AM and we're leaving any minute. I'll be at his house until the 26th and then we're leaving for Fox, so I guess I'll see (some of) you guys the evening of the 26th...Other than that, I'll see you on move-in day.

farewell!

if you don't know me by now...

So, tonight was supposed to be fun, right? I mean, sure i was sitting through a semi-lame movie that i didn't really want to see, but i was with my high school best friend that i hadn't seen since last June! It was great! Riiiiiiight...Let's just say that the ride home turned into "Let's see if we can name all the reasons that Tara is too abrassive to get a boyfriend." Yeah. That's right. Apparently, I'm bitter, angry and repressive about both...I care about the things around me too much and need to give them a rest. I "just need to settle down" (according to him).
I mean, I know that i can be alittle too outspoken about things, but do i just rub people the wrong way? Or, to quote Nahum (that's his name), I'm a "killjoy" and i "don't enjoy things unless the people around (me) are equally as unsatisfied as (i) am"...I guess either i'm kidding myself into thinking that i'm a better person than i really am, or he's just dumb. However, considering that he has always been honest and completely upfront with me, i have a hard time believing the latter.

a different kind of library

Pop quiz! What movie is this from:
"Once upon a time, there lived a young girl, who loved her father very much..."

Ha! I bought it today and my heart is now happy. I've basically memorized this movie (and if you don't know what it is, too bad, cause you're lame...Alright, it's 'Ever After')

This is what I write about when I'm bored; the latest additions to my movie collection. So far, this summer, I've bought Equilibrium (yeah buddy!!!! Christian Bale is HOTT!!!), Runaway Bride (yeah yeah yeah...chick flick...blah blah blah...), A Beautiful Mind (I mean come on! the double disk set for $10?! You can't beat that!), and Ever After...not to mention that I *ahem* "obtained" Moulin Rouge from my cousin. Needless to say, there won't be a shortage for exciting things to watch when I have nothing else to do.

20 more day! Woot!